Apparently, I have been living under a rock. Before this weekend, I had never heard of Chuck Norris Facts. Have you?! They're hilarious. We were playing a card game with my family when all of a sudden my brothers started telling us a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes. I laughed so hard. I thought they were so funny I had to look up some more today. Here are some of my favorites.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- If you opened a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris would jump out.
- Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
- Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
- Harry Potter didn't really kill Voldemort. Chuck Norris did.
- Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
- Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake. After three days of pain and agony the rattle snake died.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter just comes out.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as giraffes.
- There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris doesn't get sunburned. Because the sun wouldn't dare.
- Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia; fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia; fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
5 comments:
I can't believe you haven't heard of these before...I had a roommate who had a poster of them in her room once. haha. Thanks for the laugh!
I had never heard of those before either. Some are pretty funny though. I remember watching that show too when I was little and LOVING it! Saturday nights me and my dad and sisters had a date with Chuck Norris. And yes, I still have the theme song memorized!! :) Seen the reruns on tv?
That is pretty funny you have not heard of any of those before! Really though, do you live under a rock? HA!! J/K :)
Don't worry I just found out about the jokes too. Someone told me that even google is in on the joke and that you can't google chuck norris cause you can't search for him...he will search for you. haha....I loved that show. It makes me think of the Halfords though the most.
I loved watching Chuck Norris growing up! I can't believe you have never heard the jokes before.
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