Dear Kirby...

Welcome to our home! You've been with us for about a month now, and I just wanted to let you know how awesome you are. The salesman didn't lie...you are a MACHINE! I've always thought that someday I would be a proud Kirby owner, but I never thought that day would come so soon. But, being the great bargainers that we are, we were able to talk the Kirby man into giving you to us for a sweet deal. And I'm pretty sure you were worth every penny.

I know it took me a few days to use you, but I ask your forgiveness in that. You see, after listening to the Kirby man for FOUR SOLID HOURS about how wonderful you were, watching him show us how filthy our carpets were (apparently they weren't as clean as we thought when we moved in), negotiating price, and finally forking over the dough, I didn't want to look at you for awhile. Basically I had had enough Kirby to last me awhile. And another reason for not using you sooner, as you know, Brandt has this thing with new toys, and I figured since he used you EVERY SINGLE DAY for a solid week, you deserved a break. So I hope there are no hard feelings. But I've got to admit, when I did finally pull you out of the closet to vacuum, it was an amazing experience, other than the fact that I forgot to put you in 'drive' mode and vacuumed the entire house in 'neutral' (at first I thought you had gained some weight sitting there in the closet, until Brandt pointed out my stupidity, grrrr). My floors are so clean and the Dyson has been cowering in the corner every since (side note: you should become friends with him while you're sitting together in the closet, I think Dyson feels ashamed of himself right now).

I love that you brought a lifetime warranty with you. The Kirby man told us stories about other proud Kirby owners who have had their own Kirby for over 50 years. And I sure hope you plan on sticking with us for that long. You'll fit right in with Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, Febreze, and Scentsy.

Thanks again for all of your hard work so far. I have a feeling you and I are going to be great friends!

Sincerely,

Dani