The Bed Post

So the other day, a Sunday morning, Dani and I are sitting in bed relaxing. (Side note, our bed is up on seven inch risers so that we can store items underneath. See Exhibit A)

Exhibit A

We don't have church until 1:00 which allows for copious amounts of free time. Yes, I used copious. Earlier that morning I had heard a crack from my side of the room. Not sure what it was, I ignored the sound. An hour later Dani and I are sitting in bed, her reading and me browsing the internet, when we hear another, louder crack.

"Is our bed breaking?" She asked.

"No," I said, "I heard that noise earlier, must be something else." Yes, must be something else...

-short pause-

We hear another sound, not a crack, more of a slow creaking, like a tree bending in the wind. Or, maybe, a bed breaking. Pick whichever metaphor you will. In a split second I feel myself beginning to sink. Like a nimble cat I leaped from the bed just in time for it to come smashing down...but only on my side. (See Exhibit B)

Exhibit B. Yup, just on my side. Kinda like one of those hospital beds, kinda. Please disregard all the junk, Dani's side is much cleaner.

I look over at Dani, sitting proudly up in the air, she has a shocked and confused, slightly angry expression. "Did you just break our bed?" She asks. I say nothing, but investigate the damaged. "Yup, I broke it." I said. "Well not the whole bed, only the seven inch riser that supports it." (See Exhibit C)

Exhibit C. Notice the bed went smashing right down through the middle of the support.You will also notice scriptures, a toy helicopter, Idaho State Fishing Rules and Regulations, and textbooks giving you a brief glimpse into my daily routine.

*Sigh* I am fat :( Yet, even as I write this, having just finished cooking a batch of cookies and licking the chocolate off of my fingers, I feel no remorse. I don't blame myself (who does?). I blame the man...the man who made those supports. Yes, it is not me, it is them. Definitely, it is them.